Oh, To Have Trish Bergins Talent and Johnathan Rhys Meyers Phone Number.... LOL

My personal life is as always, full of drama. Things are weird with Michael, who is hot and then cold with me, on an off like a faucet and I'm tired of it. I don't know that my heart is in this relationship anymore. It no longer even resembles marriage. I have seen him only once in the the past seven months. Our phone conversations grow evermore alkward. We can and have gone weeks without speaking. I miss his friendship.... This is no way to be carrying on, esp if there is to be any hope of saving what remains of our union. I am understandably frustrated by the situation, lonely for companionship and I dare say I'm more than a little moody for the lack of sex. I fear that my attention is being drawn elsewhere, to real men interested in me and men no more than idle fantasy...... Such as lovely actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. I'd walk a hundred miles to stare into his green Irish eyes for five minutes. I have adored him since he appeared in the screen adaptation of Shakespeare's Titus, cast as the dark, edgy bleached blonde Chiron, whose villainous ways made me despise him and whose seductive sensuality left me aching for a breaking. Jonny's almost androgenous beauty is bettered only by the incredible energy and natural charisma with which he performs. He is a born actor, untrained, raw and real-his talent spewing from the very depths of his soul. His somewhat irreverent in-your-face honesty onscreen and off is both shocking and refreshing. I personally can not help but be intrigued, impressed by this very unique individual. I saw him on the late show the other night and nearly fell out of bed. I hadn't realized how much he resembled a young Elvis Presley until I saw the film footage clip of him as Rock and Rolls king in the upcoming tv movie about his life. He had the mannerisms down, the attitude nailed, and he can even sing, I'm told, and has, in other movies. Who else but this 28 year old Buttevant, Ireland native could pull off a gig like that? He portrays Elvis during his rise to fame and I suspect he relates to it so well because he feels the blaze of his own star on the ascent. He is himself an icon, breaking rules and setting a new style and standard. He is a delightful diversion indeed. Oh, if he would have me in a million years, I'd surely go to hell by way of heaven.... All lusting aside, he's an extraordinary talent and I would like very much to learn more about him and perhaps write an article for Nohmasohna or another arts magazine.

Professionally, my own career is growing more interesting. I'm still writing pr for some of the US and UK's hottest young artists. Aside from Lynett who is in negotiationss with a major label, Funusual handles several other acts, including Sony's Latin Lothario Domenic Marte, Bylli Crayone and Sonchild-an unstoppable father and son talent team. In 2003 Bylli's last big single ascended to number one on London's club music chart while then 11 year old Sonchilds "Merry Go Round" spent 7 weeks in the top 3 on the dance music charts in four countries: England, Sweden, Belgium and Germany. And now they want to sign me! I've been offered a maxi-single (like an EP) deal of my own. Would that be a collossal conflict of interest, suddenly in a position to cover my own PR? Haha. I also haven't ruled out the modeling offer which is still on the table. I am also currently discussing (with a wonderfully kind television producer whom I was recently put in touch with) the ins and outs of developing my own weekly puppet-based childrens television show on cox cable here in Oklahoma. (Oklahoma has only two community access stations and I happen to live five minutes away from one of them.) I am tentatively scheduled to meet with the cable people on the 19th for a free 3 hour class on the OU college campus on how to properly use the state of the art cameras and computerized editing equipment. I am told they would even allow me to go off site and on location with the cameras which means I could cover local news. Oh how the possibilities excite me! What my friend and former classmate, professional television achorwoman Trish Bergin does so beautifully on "Inside Edition" I could do for sheer fun on weekends. (Hey, so my viewing public wouldn't exceed a fifty mile radius, it would still beat sobbing over my disappointing relationship with Michael and stressing about my apartment and bills. I need to put my energy to positive use. I've been on national tv twice before as a talk show guest in addition to several music video appearences as a model and dancer so I'm not entirely green to it.) But I'm no Trish Bergin. I wish I had her grace and skill. She's sharp and sweet as ever.

I want to be Trish Bergin when I grow up. :-)

I want to live to the fullest, be all I can be. There is so much to do and I want to try everything. With or without Michael I am going to go for it!