He's Lucky He's Cute
If nothing else, the modeling offer is good for a laugh-at my expense, apparently.
I mentioned it to Michael and he gasped, "Have they ever really seen you? I mean, you're not a big-boobed young hottie." Had he been standing there next to me I think I'd have kicked him in the shins. Now, I know I'm not Brittany Spears but goodness knows most men know they risk some sort of bodily harm by reminding their insecure 34 year old wife of the fact. And he wants to come back, does he?
"Apparently there's a market for ugly old bags with boobs down to their ankles." I responded, my eyes reduced to annoyed little slits. At 5' 4" tall and 105 lbs I have hardly gone to pot. I hate how the media at large has brain-washed American men and women alike to believe a woman has to be 18, bone-thin, blonde and have a rack and a half to be thought of as beautiful. True, that was me in the prime of my youth-the ideal I once went to insane lengths to attain. It indeed brought me adoration but not happiness. Anorexic, bulimic, depressed and too easily seduced, I was hardly a whole woman, no matter how I appeared. I am older, wiser, and love being a wife and mother-when I'm treated well. "Short, small-busted middle-aged mothers are beautiful." I want to do this thing now if only to prove that point.
"I guess there's a market for everything." says he, safely a state away. "I bet if you took close-ups of your feet some weirdo would buy them." Isn't he just the sweetest? My pretty little nightmare. He turns thirty this year. He's started balding. When he gets lazy he fills out a bit figure wise, as most husbands do as they get older. Is he any less a man?
Oh, yes, I can see it now.... The plug for the first Official Melody Calendar....
FINALLY CAPTURED ON FILM! : Elderly Female Sasquash. Twelve months of glorious grossness for your amusement and curiousity! Buy now before she disappears again into the annals of legend and lore! Pre-order yours today to avoid the rush.
I mentioned it to Michael and he gasped, "Have they ever really seen you? I mean, you're not a big-boobed young hottie." Had he been standing there next to me I think I'd have kicked him in the shins. Now, I know I'm not Brittany Spears but goodness knows most men know they risk some sort of bodily harm by reminding their insecure 34 year old wife of the fact. And he wants to come back, does he?
"Apparently there's a market for ugly old bags with boobs down to their ankles." I responded, my eyes reduced to annoyed little slits. At 5' 4" tall and 105 lbs I have hardly gone to pot. I hate how the media at large has brain-washed American men and women alike to believe a woman has to be 18, bone-thin, blonde and have a rack and a half to be thought of as beautiful. True, that was me in the prime of my youth-the ideal I once went to insane lengths to attain. It indeed brought me adoration but not happiness. Anorexic, bulimic, depressed and too easily seduced, I was hardly a whole woman, no matter how I appeared. I am older, wiser, and love being a wife and mother-when I'm treated well. "Short, small-busted middle-aged mothers are beautiful." I want to do this thing now if only to prove that point.
"I guess there's a market for everything." says he, safely a state away. "I bet if you took close-ups of your feet some weirdo would buy them." Isn't he just the sweetest? My pretty little nightmare. He turns thirty this year. He's started balding. When he gets lazy he fills out a bit figure wise, as most husbands do as they get older. Is he any less a man?
Oh, yes, I can see it now.... The plug for the first Official Melody Calendar....
FINALLY CAPTURED ON FILM! : Elderly Female Sasquash. Twelve months of glorious grossness for your amusement and curiousity! Buy now before she disappears again into the annals of legend and lore! Pre-order yours today to avoid the rush.
Rush, ha. Now, THAT's funny.
posted by Melody at 12:38 PM
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